This is the first of a brand new podcast series I’m doing called “A Lifetime of Girl Getting Secrets.” In each episode I’m going to reveal the “fundamental” lessons I’ve learned over the years that have had the biggest impact on my game.
In this episode:
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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I used to be so clueless as to what to talk to girls about that I actually begged one of my friends to wear a “wire” so I could listen in.
My friend Jake, had a gift for talking to a girl for hours without running out of things to say or turning towards boring dry topics that wind up losing her interest.
Jake never agreed to wear the “wire.” Although he let me listen in a few times from outside his door.
I was able to steal a few good ideas from him back then. A few of the ideas I still use to this day. Because they work.
I figured I’d share some them with you.
“I try to get on the same team as her.” Jake told me. “And the fastest way to do that is to find a common enemy that we could both talk shit or gossip about.”
He explained that sometimes the common enemy would be someone they both went to school with, and he’d make her laugh by making fun of the person in an amusing way.
Or sometimes the common enemy would be their mutual hatred of a type of music, the DMV, a certain holiday, or anything they could mutual vent about.
He told me that one of his favorite questions to ask a girl is “Who is your mortal enemy? Who is that one girl you’re always competing against?”
I’ve found that to be a great question because once the girl starts telling you about her “mortal enemy” it’s usually a pretty humorous story. And it’s also pretty easy to tease her about it.
Now you want to stay on the “fun” side when talking about grudges or enemies and not move over into getting too negative or spiteful.
Make it a fun topic.
==>Learn “advanced” conversation tactics in this free video
“Everyone loves making top 10 lists” Jake once told me.
And he’s right. People love making them, and they love listening to them. And they love arguing about them.
Girls love talking about themselves.
And the next best thing to talking about yourself is giving your opinion on things.
Whether it’s her “top 10 celebrity crushes” or her “top 10 albums” or her “top 10 dream vacations” or her “top 10 favorite places to have sex” you’ve just introduced a fun topic that will keep the conversation rolling a long for a bit.
And once again, more than likely, some of her answers are sure to give you material to tease her on. And it can also give you something to playfully argue about.
This is one of my favorite things that Jake taught me.
“Try to find a mission that the two of you can jokingly work on together”
He would try to find something that he and the girl both agreed on, and then he would turn it into some kind of mission.
“Let’s make it our mission to stop guys from “grunting” at the gym”
“Let’s make it our mission to stop senile old people from being allowed to drive.”
“Let’s make it our mission to eliminate the Justin Bieber haircut from existence.”
The whole point would be to create this “mission” so that it could be a common conversation topic that they could go back to when the conversation got stale.
The best missions are humorous ones that allow you to role play with some imaginary scenarios.
Remember, this isn’t a mission you’re actually going to do together, just something that you can riff on for a bit.
What you’re really doing with each of these topics is fishing for things to tease her about and flirt with her. You’re trying to “bait” her into saying or doing something that allows you take the focus of
the conversation onto her.
So those are three conversation threads I learned from my friend Jake many years ago. I still use these threads often, and they never fail to give me material to tease a woman on.
==> New Video: Switch a Few Words to Ignite Chemistry and Attraction
Make it Happen!
Bobby Rio
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Let me ask you something…
Did you ever get into an elevator with a stranger…
And the stranger turns to you and says “Beautiful day isn’t it”?
And then they smile and wait for you to respond…
How did you react?
Did you engage them in conversation?
Or did you just sort of grunt or smile to be polite…
…And then let the conversation fizzle out?
Chances are you did the latter…
You let it fizzle out.
Why?
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New video: The “secret” to making approaching women super easy.
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Because you weren’t prepared for a conversation…
The stranger took you by suprise…
Your mind was thinking about something else, and just wasn’t warmed up enough to be “chatty.”
It wasn’t necessarily that you didn’t want to talk to them…
In fact, maybe it was even a beautiful woman who iniated the conversation…
And you kicked yourself later for being so “un-responsive…”
You were DEFINITELY interested in talking to her…
You just weren’t PREPARED for it…
Do you see where I’m going here?
If not, let me spell it out for you.
When you approach a woman you have to keep in mind that just because you’re ready and willing to break the ice… does not mean she was standing around waiting to be approached…
Which means just like “your mind” in the elevator…
…Her mind is off somewhere else and isn’t warmed up or quite ready to be “chatty”…
Her initial un-responsiveness may not be so much lack of interest…
It might just be you took her by surprise and she needs a few minutes to compose herself…
…To get her “conversational juices” flowing…
This is why you should never approach a woman and put the burden of keeping the conversation going on her…
If you randomly walk up to a woman and say something like “hey, you look cool, so I wanted to say hi”
And then you wait for her to jump into conversation with you…
You might be waiting a long time…
Its YOUR responsibility to keep the conversation going…
Its your responsibility to provide her some “warm-up” material…
In fact, I usually recommend my students to be ready to contribute 90% of the conversation for the first five minutes…
And throw a handful of topics out there…
Give her something she can grab onto…
You throw her a few “lob balls” so she can get her swing back…
That’s the secret to dealing with un-responsive girls…
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New video: The “secret” to making approaching women super easy.
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Let’s agree right now that if you don’t know how to talk to women… you’re NOT going home with them.
Plain and simple.
No amount of muscles, nice clothes, or fancy cars will change that fact.
Unfortunately for guys who lack this skill there is a TON of useless advice out there… (trust me, as a former painfully shy guy I spent years being led down the wrong path)
Yep. Most of the advice on conversation is flat out misleading (if not damaging)
Here’s three of the most erroneous lies you’ve probably been taught about talking to women.
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Brand New Video: Hot Wire a Woman’s Emotions by Switching a Few Words:
(watch the video here)
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Lie #1: Try to find things in common
For some reason people just love to advise ‘finding things in common’.
Problem is that when you fish for things you have in common you are walking the slow death into the friend zone.
You’ve probably heard my “health food girl” story….
How I spent 2 hours talking health food with some chick thinking we were practically soul mates…
… 15 minutes after our conversation ends she’s upstairs giving some other dude a handy dandy…
When you search for ‘things in common’ you pigeon hole yourself as THAT GUY. Her music buddy, or her health food friend…
Instead you want to be the FUN GUY she she gets sexually excited around.
Lie #2: Pretend you’re not interested
I can’t tell you how many guys I coach who don’t close the deal because they’re trying to seem ‘disinterested’….
While you definitely should NOT be writing girls poems, obsessively complimenting them, or showering them with drinks….
She MUST know you’re intersted in her.
When you try to *hide* your interest what you are actually hiding is your MASCULINITY.
You are a man. You are supposed to be sexually interested in her.
Trying to overtly seem disinterested will make you seem **gay** or she’ll assume you’re just too shy to know what to do.
Lie #3: Be funny.
Women want FUN. NOT funny.
Here’s the thing.. being funny is hard work.
The fact is most humor requires inside jokes and previous knowledge…
Its very easy to be funny around your friends because you can laugh about things you are both familiar with.
But SHE probably won’t find the same story as funny (when she doesn’t know the people involved)
So stop trying to be funny. You are making it too damn hard on yourself.
Give her fun. It’s easier, and its what she wants anyway.
“FUN” is the ultimate commodity. Its what we search for when we go out.
But here’s something you might not know..
Fun is also an aphrodisiac. Yep. The more “Fun” she is having around you the hornier she will become.
Its because of a chemical reaction that is going on in her brain. i won’t go into details, but just know that when she’s in that giddy, fun mode she’s also slowly getting more and more turned on.
So there you go…
I just finished up a new video all about “Changing the words you use” to create chemistry and attraction…
In this video I reveal the Triangle of Temptation. These are the three emotions a woman is powerless against.
When you block out all the ‘noise’ and focus on these three things you’ll find your conversations quickly reach the next level.
http://www.makesmalltalksexy.com/to/video-one
Check it out soon because I’m not sure how long i’m leaving it up.
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Getting dumped is terrible. For me, it means having a complete lack of self-esteem, not being able to eat for months, and just questioning everything you thought you knew. It’s kind of like an earthquake in your soul. Which is why, inevitably, you’re going to try to win her back.
But the main things that you’re going to do right away, the ideas that you have to win her back, aren’t going to work. In fact, they’re probably going to push her further away. So let’s start by talking about what you SHOULDN’T be doing when trying to win her back. So lets talk about how to get your girlfriend back.
Now, just look at that list. Does that look like the list of a man who is self-confident, fun, has his own things going on, and generally attractive to women? Of course it doesn’t. So why do you think that your ex-girlfriend would be interested in someone who does those kinds of things?
Instead, you need to take a little temporary time out from here. You need to:
This is a time for her to experience what life is like without you, and to start missing you. At the same time, it will give you the chance to take a breather and re-evaluate your own life. Most importantly, it saves you from making the rash decision of buying her flowers or trying in order sure-to-lose ways to win her back.
During this time, you should also be working on yourself a bit more. You should:
Basically, you want to give off the impression that you’re going to be living life happily and fine, with or without her. You don’t want to make it seem like you’re doing the above changes in your lifestyle in order to impress her. But instead, you’re doing it to impress YOU. You’re doing it to get your self-esteem and confidence back. And soon enough, you’ll have it back.
When she does end up contacting you again – and she will, they all do – then it’s time to take the plan of winning her over to the next level. Essentially, what you want to do, is instill on her three feelings when she sees you again. You want her to feel:
That last one needs some extra instruction. Remember how it is when you first start dating someone and you’re teasing back and forth and flirting the whole time? That’s the kind of feeling that needs to be brought up again. Forget about the time you spent together, and the baggage that comes with all of that (including the baggage of having your heart broken by her). You need to forget about that and start fresh.
(For a primer on how to tease and flirt with girls, check out my video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zvrt98DutQA)
If you follow these instructions, you will get your ex back in no time. And then the question will be, if you really want her back in the first place.
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