How to Get a Girl “Obsessed” with You

by Bobby Rio

How to Keep a Girl Interested in You

It’s about time I address this in an article..

(This is an email you’re going to want to save for future use)

Every day I get dozens of emails from guys around the world wondering why some girl suddenly lost interest in them.
Once I get the details out of them it becomes crystal clear.

They gave their hand away way too soon.

Have you ever had a girl who was once hot for you get cold and distant within a couple weeks? If I had to guess why, I would say that you got too comfortable too quickly, and stopped PLAYING THE GAME.

I know I know.. we all hate ‘the game.’

But you have to play it.


Because women love going after a guy who is a challenge.

They love it.

They love not knowing what the deal is. Sure, they say they hate it. But they will keep chasing that feeling.

And when you don’t give them “the chase” they usually find another guy who isn’t so hard to figure out.

So how to do you stay a challenge?

For some of us its easy… If you’ve got a reputation around your social circle as a “player”, or are seen as having really high status by the girl, you don’t have the play ‘the game’ as hard.


Trust me, I made that mistake. Sometimes I’ve even made the mistake of thinking I have to show a girl MORE interest because she thinks I’m a player and I need to prove I’m not.

Big Mistake.

The whole reason the girl liked you in the first place was because of your ‘player like’ qualities. Don’t hide them, and don’t give in to the temptation to ‘drop the games.’

Here are the three biggest signs you are about to FUCK UP.

1. You start thinking “I don’t want to play games with this chick. I like her. Why can’t I just let her know.”

2. You think “This girl is different, I don’t have to play games with her.”

3. You think “She definitely likes me. We’re past the point I need to play games.”

The minute any of those thoughts creep into your mind, re-read this email. And DO NOT convince yourself that she is different.


She wants to chase you. She wants a challenge. She wants a guy she can not completely figure out.

How to be a challege

A lot guys think that when I say you can’t express interest this means you can’t let a girl know you are attracted to her.


You HAVE to let her know you are attracted to her. To do this you need to know how to talk to women.

Express your sexual intent and attraction all you want.

That is perfectly fine.

But, do no let her know you want more than that. (for at least the first 3 or 4 months)


You have to be stone cold impossible to read.

Every time she leaves you she should be wondering if she will ever see you again. She should be wondering how much you like her. She should be wondering if you’re seeing other girls.

Let her wonder.

That is the art of the chase. The more time she sits around wondering what you’re doing… the more she begins to convince herself she is in love with you.

As David D once said “Give her the gift of missing you.”

The second part of keeping the attraction going is being able to continually flip her attraction switches during your time hanging out with her.

I created an entire course on “Flipping her Attraction Switches

{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }

Stevee January 7, 2011 at 11:28 am

Why do you use images you don’t have the rights to, and are obviously found on other sites on the internet…

Bobby Rio January 7, 2011 at 12:53 pm

My editor just google searches images… if any image i use is property of someone else and they want me to take
it down.. i take it down immediately.

Did he use one of your images?

steve w January 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

very nice love your program so far Amplify the Attraction and Social Training Lab. the one thing that jumps out at me the most is, doing it now and i notice it apply to women, learning etc.

BD Knight January 8, 2011 at 12:48 am

stevee shut the fuck up and stop being a pussy

Ian January 13, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Thanks Bobby for the use tips.

I will apply them to my sex/love life immediately.


Tex Mcgonnigle January 26, 2011 at 1:15 am

This is good info. And its true too. Now, I have a rough question and I think I know the painful truth. Lets say you end up doing this and you end up with a hot/cool girlfriend. How do you keep her without continuing to play the game? On some level, in order to keep the relationship from becoming just another “roommate” situation that most relationships turn into, you pretty much have to be on your toes the rest of your life. You can’t relax and be yourself the way you would around your friends. I realize PUA’s dodge this question a lot because they talk about picking chicks up etc but IMO thats not nearly as difficult as keeping a relationship hot ‘n spicey and fun. And it seems like its up to the guy to keep it that way. Not really what I had in mind for 30-50 years. sounds like a full time job. The truth is that if you truly open up and show everything and have a transparent relationship, she is going to lose interest eventually. she is going to lose sexual attraction eventually. so, bobby rio, I respect what you have to say – makes a lot of sense – but lets see what you have to say about that! : )

jdob February 4, 2011 at 12:56 am

tex…You need to get a life of your own and not depend on her for emotional stability, once you can validate your own life you won’t need her validation. Therefore you will naturally act as an attractive male as you should be. 🙂

Bob March 20, 2011 at 4:45 am

You said “And when you don’t give them ‘the chase’ they usually find another guy who isn’t so hard to figure out”. What do you mean by that statement? You also say that women love a challenge and to remain mysterious to have them chase you. Sounds like a conflicting statement here, according to your versing and all against what you’re preaching.

Bobby Rio March 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm

not sure what you find conflicting….

When you’re talking to a girl, yes, flirt, get sexual, express your intent…

However, when you’re not with her, she should be wondering what you’re thinking. Don’t respond to text messages right away… don’t always be available to hang out…

Remaining mysterious- and not letting her know whether or not you want to be her boyfriend.. makes you a challenge.

Dawn March 28, 2011 at 11:50 pm

I found your site since I was researching some of the strategy guys have been using on me. I really never paid attention before…I am a serial monogamous boyfriend/dater. Now, I am thinking more of a marriage/serious stuff and I am over the games though. If a guy doesn’t call me back….eh….I go and find another guy who will pay attention to me. I am old school…..I do not see chasing a guy as a challenge – I see that as he is a player – a Tiger Woods that is not good marriage material.


I do agree that you need to keep things unexpected – keeping things humorous, romantic, sexual, chivalrous, exciting, be the Alpha Male…..(take her sailing or something)….these are all very good. Just, if you do not want to be like all the other player guys who are one night stands and not worthy — just be decent, respectful, and classy. Women are friends with benefits. Sex is better when you know the person, care for the person, and it has meaning.

Good luck!

Bobby Rio April 2, 2011 at 9:16 am

Thanks for sharing your persepctive Dawn….

And yes, I agree that girls reach a certain point in their life where they get tired of games…..

Barry June 13, 2011 at 6:13 am

To me the idea of all this is just like dancing, I do not change how I dance for any woman.Each time I see a new move, I try it and then learn to use it .I am always truing new things to keep her it is your job/duty/role to lead her. I make it enjoyable, get out of your freeking head and just enjoy the process.
And for the guy that was whinning about the images…you probably should go see Dr.Phil.Your missing the whole idea.

Fauz June 27, 2011 at 11:30 pm

what if we already at the FUCK UP stage and we wanna turn things around. The girl is about to make a decision to leave. how can we turn it around? i need to know that.

Jules July 10, 2011 at 7:45 pm

The art of the chase description is excellent here, thanks.

What i want to know is when do you actually tell her that you want her as your girlfriend?

And there is this one girl (uh oh!)…She has given me the gift of missing her on more than occasion. I like to think I have done that too. She is hardly demonstrative so I feel like I have to make a lot of things clear. Shall I tell her I miss her?

John Jay August 1, 2011 at 1:29 am

Holy cow…

I am now currently dating this girl whom I met with just chat. I followed your tips on how to make boring talk sexy- and it surprisingly work!

Yeah,yeah- the first time I was hardly convinced coz’ I knew that I suck with women, in fact- I suck at socializing and many of my peers branded me a weirdo.

I want to change myself, and followed some of your guides. As of now I started to feel confident about my conversation abilities, but not to the extent of talking to a group.

Just when I thought that my relationship with this particular girl was going smooth, I found this article- and hell….I was doing all “the three biggest signs you are about to FUCK UP.”

thanks for saving me man, I owe you a lot.

John August 5, 2011 at 1:58 am

Idiots. The lot of you. Usually your advice is great and really useful. But this article is no use for a relationship, all it will get you is a one nighter with a slut or some chick with OCD who must understand everything, including you. And as for the not stopping the games even if I think the relationship is far enough I don’t need them anymore. A there will never be a relationship. B that’s just pathetic and stupid.

Lou September 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

Guys, don’t do the mistake. Those who DON’T love control the situation. Ever. I don’t mean you can’t love your girlfriend. Actually you should love her. But, don’t tell this too earlier. Don’t tell. Wait for her to tell you first. Why? Because you know you leve her, but you don’t know she loves you. Don’t take unnecessary risks. Let’s be honest: did you ever tell a girl “I love you”, like the stupid loving songs do, and the girl, imediatily, jump into your lap, get undressed and did you in seconds. No, she always get scared, thinking how immature you are. Think about the girls you already had. Think about the time period before the first kiss. And think about the girls you never kissed. Yes, make an analysis of your past. Be careful about what you’ll find out.

Bill September 23, 2011 at 11:06 am

Having been on both sides of the equation.. (i.e. a hopeless romantic that drove a woman to me and all of her envious friends; also having put as many of these attraction specific ideas and seeing phenomenal results. The best I can see about all of this… is that YOU HAVE to be like a cameleon you have to know instinctly how to adapt to certain situations fast. I have love and been loved and have also NOT loved and been Worshipped despite my good acting, he,he.. Here’s a quote that helps me to remember: “A man has two reasons for doing anything, a good reason and the real reason.” -J.P. Morgan

Sayda September 30, 2011 at 1:25 am

I’m actually very curious. I’m a girl, and I’ve been crushing on a guy for about a year now. I don’t do MANY of the things you say, because as you mentioned as one case, I am very shy.

As of today, I am 20, and never even been kissed. I am very insecure, but from the comments made by others, and things he says, I think he might like me. How can I show him I really really like him, without doing anything too uncomfortable?

brad October 1, 2011 at 12:32 am


honestly, my friend… and this is coming from true experience.

And do it in the calmest, coolest manner.
You can say there’s someone else… or you’ve just lost interest.

If you ever… ever… ever feel she’s about to break things off… do it immediately, and then just move on. Watch what happens.

james October 5, 2011 at 10:43 pm

I’ve been with a girl 3 months. We were attracted to each other right away. She is beautiful and intelligent. I am of course polite, thoughtful and engage her in interesting conversation – as she does me. We were however both open and honest about our feelings for each other right from the start. We are still together and I am glad I did not have to play the chase game.

john vitrano October 9, 2011 at 3:54 pm

hi i met this girl and she first said she wants to see me but now its getting like can i get back to u later im busy we never met in person we just email eachother and i been telling her that im only interested in her and i wanna see her and im very attracted to her and once i told her in my email she dont know how much i want her do u think shes losing interest and if so how can i get her to tell me she wants to see me like she did when she first emailed me

STEVE BRAVO October 24, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Hi, I really need you to answer back today..
See Today is my fisrt date with a girl I’ve liked since the first time I saw her..

See the first time I saw her, It was One of my gigs, see, I’m quite a famous dj.. so what I did Is letting her and her friend in for free and I bought them beers… Afterwards I got concentrated on my gig and didn’t pay her much attention except for letting her know I found her attractive.
Then I saw her when I was performing some other day.. And I sent her a message saying It made me feel fantastic seeing her. She replied saying that my music came in the most perfect time to “cure her”.
Then after a few days I asked her for her cellphone number and she gave it to me right away.. Wher I contacted her she instantly agreed to go out the very next day.
She’s pretty as hell, and I ‘ d like to know some tips for this first date ’cause that’s the kind of girl I would be married to if you know what I mean!

clint willman October 26, 2011 at 10:16 am

waazzzup,,,,clint here,,just your local, neighborhood pimp!!!
This advice is pretty much spot on if your tryin to get laid..I like the OCD comment,,been there bro…If u use this strategy to its perfection, you are in for a show….obsessive doesn’t describe some of these….I am 28 now and have been with more women than most of u have probably dreamed about…I’m straight up tired of the quote unquote “the game.” ive mastered it, taught it,,FUCKED it up on purpose just to see if i could still rejected… but , never the less, you still have to play it and BEWARW,,,females are just like us but they do possess what we all want right…and the ones that have come to realize they possess this mystical power hidden in a box..they can run your own “game” on u before u know it..JULIA HUBBARD,,,cant do anything but give props on that one; whic brings me to another aspect…dont fall in love with a girls looks..usually the prettiest girls are the most insecure, which actually makes them easier targets..Don’t let their looks knock you off your “game” because once u have had one,,you have had em all,,short, tall, skinn, (that was just the once…nice advice kyle.) yea,,chunky girls need love too but n0t from this playa,,,it is not better but their cabinets are usually stocked…Anyways, I could school ya all on relationships all day,,If ya have questions,,hit me up at [email protected]…this strategy, if implemented correctly will definitely have them sprung…The three to four month time period could be right or wrong.. u have to be skilled enough to know the right time,,with practice,,its like second nature..u should really use this strategy from 18-25, give or take. ..when your in the what i like to call, D.G.A.F,,the dont give a f*** mode..which is an art within itself.. If you really D.G.A.F, then you will portray most of these qualities already. I can sum the whole GAME up for you in one sentence..this one sentence alone is the answer, the key, the mother f***in holy grail of pimpin,,and contrart to popular belief,,,pimpin is easy..but i cant just give ya’ll all my wisdow..i earned that sh**..took a lot of time too…Lot of good stories for the grandkids,,ya know ,,when they reach the age of 10, or whatever is socially appropriate at that time..keep subscribin to ol boys page here and I’m sure he will fill ya in,,,sounds like he knows whats up……big clue,,then im out…Seriously, i’m physically tired…the “game” became a full time job some time ago,…lol…but at this stage you have to build your confidene..It’s key..the more confident you are,,the more fluent your “game will be.”….willman,,peace.

T brown October 31, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Bro your wrong some girls don’t want a player but some do and you can tell them you like them before 3 to 4 months ughhhh I can’t stand the blind leading the blind 3 rules of attraction 1. Girls want what they can’t have (which is probably what you guys did to get her attracted 2. Unpredictability they don’t want normal they want different rule 3 safeness and protection just that you make them feel safe there those are the basics

billy November 14, 2011 at 1:23 pm

yo …. what up y’all . ok so i kinda met a girl , through girl i still sometimes sleep with, and wow shes amazing , shes agreed to hang out , but its been a week and i haven’t yet met her, a few facebook comments is the extent , she told me shes not the classy date type , shed rather chill an drink beer , i really want to meet this girl , but dnt want to press the issue……. help me

Xyz December 13, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Actually, this is the exact reason I’m considering breaking up with my bf. he tells me he loves me I’m beautiful etc. yet he doesn’t ever have time for me “he’s too busy”. I want someone I can do things with and spend time with. I’m sick of mind games-why can’t people be honest?

Ezzy December 16, 2011 at 9:39 am

4 ol of u i can f*** any girl but they never call me back but when they see me with girl… they go cryzy so what is the probelm with them?

oliver December 18, 2011 at 10:41 am

Hi! Thanks for your article… Now I see what ive done wrong a numerous times! Now to my question: I’ve been seeing this girl for a couple of months now and I know that she has feelings for me and I also have feelings for her, but here on the latest I feel that she sorta pushes me away and it fits perfectly with what you said; I just showed her my feelings… why question is if theres a way to turn it back into “good” again or is it just too late with her now? i thought of just jump a step back again but i dunno if its possible now?

justin lee December 22, 2011 at 6:11 am

hi could you plz send me info on how too attract a women. thanks JL

HVD December 26, 2011 at 9:24 am

Hey does “the game” work on women of any country? What if it is a country like India where women are orthodox and not open to dating???

lokesh saini January 20, 2012 at 9:03 am

boby ,
you are so great

may i have your number pls pls becoz i have lots quey about gils and
i can devlop your webiste becoz i am web designer free of cost
if you intrest in me pls call me my nomber is 09929968794

madmax February 5, 2012 at 9:45 am

Stevee, I am not Bobby’s editor, just a customer of his, but why talking out of your butt? You find these images on more than one website because, in fact, they are copyright-free. They are stock photos found on website who collect copyright-free photos. Duh.

Gracie February 13, 2012 at 1:26 am

this is evil -_- my “bf” probably read this before starting this game with me… is there a female version of this site? i gotta pay him back. its unfair.

clint willman February 23, 2012 at 9:37 pm

im deffinitely not wrong and those three gay ass rules u just said T, especially about the one making them feel safe, is exactly why you will forever be the dude at home, playin halo, cryin, because someone like me is out doin the horizontal bop with your girl….P.S.. dont worry, i’ll keep her safe though

xxx222 March 19, 2012 at 11:56 am

Your advice is not very consistent. You say “they usually find another guy who isn’t so hard to figure out” and then you say “She wants a guy she can not completely figure out”. So which is it? Or you just really don’t know what you are talking about.

Bobby Rio April 2, 2012 at 7:55 am

meant to say “they find another guy who isn’t so EASY to figure out.” mistype

JUSTIN April 18, 2012 at 10:22 pm

obviously its not his fault, its his editors. So maybe you should get over yourself.

Kyle April 21, 2012 at 7:43 am

I’ve tried the OPPOSITE of what you said and THAT way worked out, all you have to do is be kind, nice, and stand up for her!

sportsmen728 April 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm

This is so true …the chicks I have dated that I am not interested in fall head over heels for me and when I meet a awesome chick and do exactly the opposite of what is written here, she is soon to be gone, not sure, and or it dies on the vine.

I am implementing this advice into my dating scene behavior immeaditely!

scott r June 30, 2012 at 4:40 pm

so what if you already stopped playing the game and want her? do you start playing again?

SJ July 11, 2012 at 5:25 pm

So, I’m kind of in the position the womans supposed to be.. lmao.. but shes coming round mine tomorrow and wants me to fuck her brains out.. YOLO

Johnatan July 27, 2012 at 6:40 am

Seems that I am already fucked up!

K-who October 31, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Look i got obssessed with a girl now she dont want me and im burning like a MOTHER FUCKING DRAGONS FIRE BOILING SOME WHITE MANS ASS RRAAAAAAHHH SHITT..

jacier March 12, 2013 at 4:19 pm

Im qe years old and it work for me and i think everybody should use this method to get girl’s .

Ray loco March 18, 2013 at 3:16 pm

Its true! I had this hot grl friend. And before I gave a shit about her she wouldn’t leave my side!

But as soon as I caught feelings for her, and professed my love to her and started acting pussy whipped!

She was gone with in a month!

Johnny Angel March 28, 2013 at 7:27 pm

I’ve been flirting, exchanging glances, with a much younger
girl at a store. We had strong eye contact lasting more than a few seconds…I did not go back to the store after that for a few weeks. She ignored me. I stayed away for almost 2 months…she than started to flirt again…I have stopped going back there again…over 2 months….this whole interlude has been going on for about a year in a half….what should I do next?
I’m always thinking about her…

Jackson October 25, 2013 at 9:08 am

I have a questions for you, how do you fix it if you screwed it up on the first time you text her? You see, there is this girl who always got my attention during class. On the last class she gave me her number and I texted her but I sort of mess things up. After that one time she never reply my text.

Isandy November 1, 2013 at 7:01 am

I myself have figured it out the number 3 “She definitely likes me. We’re past the point I need to play games.” But didn’t know how to change that way of thinking and that’s why I try to always to play the game to the point that the girl show me so much interest, but I need to sharppen my abilities still.

James July 11, 2014 at 2:46 pm

I was fucked up, she wasn’t seem interested with me anymore. Then I have read and followed what he said above.It definitely worked !!! The girl started to sent her pictures to me by herself, started to do my demands…Wow…

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