Girls Take Shits (And Other Things You Need to Know

This is the first of a brand new podcast series I’m doing called “A Lifetime of Girl Getting Secrets.”  In each episode I’m going to reveal the “fundamental” lessons I’ve learned over the years that have had the biggest impact on my game.

In this episode:

• The danger of putting women on a “pedestal”
• The truth about women and why you shouldn’t be intimidated by them
• And much more

Fun Topics for Talking to Women

I used to be so clueless as to what to talk to girls about that I actually begged one of my friends to wear a “wire” so I could listen in.

My friend Jake, had a gift for talking to a girl for hours without running out of things to say or turning towards boring dry topics that wind up losing her interest.

Jake never agreed to wear the “wire.”  Although he let me listen in a few times from outside his door.

I was able to steal a few good ideas from him back then.  A few of the ideas I still use to this day. Because they work.

I figured I’d share some them with you.

1. Nemesis, Enemies, and Grudges

“I try to get on the same team as her.” Jake told me. “And the fastest way to do that is to find a common enemy that we could both talk shit or gossip about.”

He explained that sometimes the common enemy would be someone they both went to school with, and he’d make her laugh by making fun of the person in an amusing way.

Or sometimes the common enemy would be their mutual hatred of a type of music, the DMV, a certain holiday, or anything they could mutual vent about.

He told me that one of his favorite questions to ask a girl is “Who is your mortal enemy? Who is that one girl you’re always competing against?”

I’ve found that to be a great question because once the girl starts telling you about her “mortal enemy” it’s usually a pretty humorous story. And it’s also pretty easy to tease her about it.

Now you want to stay on the “fun” side when talking about grudges or enemies and not move over into getting too negative or spiteful.

Make it a fun topic.

==>Learn “advanced” conversation tactics in this free video

2. Top 10 Lists

“Everyone loves making top 10 lists” Jake once told me.

And he’s right. People love making them, and they love listening to them. And they love arguing about them.

Girls love talking about themselves.

And the next best thing to talking about yourself is giving your opinion on things.

Whether it’s her “top 10 celebrity crushes” or her “top 10 albums” or her “top 10 dream vacations” or her “top 10 favorite places to have sex” you’ve just introduced a fun topic that will keep the conversation rolling a long for a bit.

And once again, more than likely, some of her answers are sure to give you material to tease her on. And it can also give you something to playfully argue about.

3. Inventing a “Mission”

This is one of my favorite things that Jake taught me.

“Try to find a mission that the two of you can jokingly work on together”

He would try to find something that he and the girl both agreed on, and then he would turn it into some kind of mission.

“Let’s make it our mission to stop guys from “grunting” at the gym”

“Let’s make it our mission to stop senile old people from being allowed to drive.”

“Let’s make it our mission to eliminate the Justin Bieber haircut from existence.”

The whole point would be to create this “mission” so that it could be a common conversation topic that they could go back to when the conversation got stale.

The best missions are humorous ones that allow you to role play with some imaginary scenarios.

Remember, this isn’t a mission you’re actually going to do together, just something that you can riff on for a bit.

What you’re really doing with each of these topics is fishing for things to tease her about and flirt with her. You’re trying to “bait” her into saying or doing something that allows you take the focus of
the conversation onto her.

So those are three conversation threads I learned from my friend Jake many years ago. I still use these threads often, and they never fail to give me material to tease a woman on.

==> New Video:  Switch a Few Words to Ignite Chemistry and Attraction

Make it Happen!

Bobby Rio

Let me ask you something…

Did you ever get into an elevator with a stranger…

And the stranger turns to you and says “Beautiful day isn’t it”?

And then they smile and wait for you to respond…

How did you react?

Did you engage them in conversation?

Or did you just sort of grunt or smile to be polite…

…And then let the conversation fizzle out?

Chances are you did the latter…

You let it fizzle out.

Why?

————————————-
New video: The “secret” to making approaching women super easy.
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Because you weren’t prepared for a conversation…

The stranger took you by suprise…

Your mind was thinking about something else, and just wasn’t warmed up enough to be “chatty.”

It wasn’t necessarily that you didn’t want to talk to them…

In fact, maybe it was even a beautiful woman who iniated the conversation…

And you kicked yourself later for being so “un-responsive…”

You were DEFINITELY interested in talking to her…

You just weren’t PREPARED for it…

Do you see where I’m going here?

If not, let me spell it out for you.

When you approach a woman you have to keep in mind that just because you’re ready and willing to break the ice… does not mean she was standing around waiting to be approached…

Which means just like “your mind” in the elevator…

…Her mind is off somewhere else and isn’t warmed up or quite ready to be “chatty”…

Her initial un-responsiveness may not be so much lack of interest…

It might just be you took her by surprise and she needs a few minutes to compose herself…

…To get her “conversational juices” flowing…

This is why you should never approach a woman and put the burden of keeping the conversation going on her…

If you randomly walk up to a woman and say something like “hey, you look cool, so I wanted to say hi”

And then you wait for her to jump into conversation with you…

You might be waiting a long time…

Its YOUR responsibility to keep the conversation going…

Its your responsibility to provide her some “warm-up” material…

In fact, I usually recommend my students to be ready to contribute 90% of the conversation for the first five minutes…

And throw a handful of topics out there…

Give her something she can grab onto…

You throw her a few “lob balls” so she can get her swing back…

That’s the secret to dealing with un-responsive girls…
————————————-
New video: The “secret” to making approaching women super easy.
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Let’s agree right now that if you don’t  know how to talk to women… you’re NOT going home with them.

Plain and simple.

No amount of muscles, nice clothes, or fancy cars will change that fact.

Unfortunately for guys who lack this skill there is a TON of useless advice out there… (trust me, as a former painfully shy guy I spent years being led down the wrong path)

Yep. Most of the advice on conversation is flat out misleading (if not damaging)

Here’s three of the most erroneous lies you’ve probably been taught about talking to women.

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Brand New Video:  Hot Wire a Woman’s Emotions by Switching a Few Words:
(watch the video here)
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Lie #1:  Try to find things in common

For some reason people just love to advise ‘finding things in common’.

Problem is that when you fish for things you have in common you are  walking the slow death into the friend zone.

You’ve probably heard my “health food girl” story….

How I spent 2 hours talking health food with some chick thinking we were practically soul mates…

… 15 minutes after our conversation ends she’s upstairs giving some other dude a handy dandy…

When you search for ‘things in common’ you pigeon hole yourself as THAT GUY.  Her music buddy, or her health food friend…

Instead you want to be the FUN GUY she she gets sexually excited around.

Lie #2:  Pretend you’re not interested

I can’t tell you how many guys I coach who don’t close the deal because they’re trying to seem ‘disinterested’….

While you definitely should NOT be writing girls poems, obsessively complimenting them, or showering them with drinks….

She MUST know you’re intersted in her.

When you try to *hide* your interest what you are actually hiding is your MASCULINITY.

You are a man.  You are supposed to be sexually interested in her.

Trying to overtly seem disinterested will make you seem **gay** or she’ll assume you’re just too shy to know what to do.

Lie #3: Be funny.

Women want FUN. NOT funny.

Here’s the thing.. being funny is hard work.

The fact is most humor requires inside jokes and previous knowledge…

Its very easy to be funny around your friends because you can laugh about things you are both familiar with.

But SHE probably won’t find the same story as funny (when she doesn’t know the people involved)

So stop trying to be funny. You are making it too damn hard on yourself.

Give her fun.  It’s easier, and its what she wants anyway.

“FUN” is the ultimate commodity.  Its what we search for when we go out.

But here’s something you might not know..

Fun is also an aphrodisiac.  Yep. The more “Fun” she is having around you the hornier she will become.

Its because of a chemical reaction that is going on in her brain.  i won’t go into details, but just know that when she’s in that giddy, fun mode she’s also slowly getting more and more turned on.

So there you go…

I just finished up a new video all about “Changing the words you use” to create chemistry and attraction…

==> watch the video here

In this video I reveal the Triangle of Temptation.  These are the three emotions a woman is powerless against.

When you block out all the ‘noise’ and focus on these three things you’ll find your conversations quickly reach the next level.

==> watch the video here

http://www.makesmalltalksexy.com/to/video-one

Check it out soon because I’m not sure how long i’m leaving it up.

Getting Back Together with Ex-Girlfriend

Getting dumped is terrible. For me, it means having a complete lack of self-esteem, not being able to eat for months, and just questioning everything you thought you knew. It’s kind of like an earthquake in your soul. Which is why, inevitably, you’re going to try to win her back.

But the main things that you’re going to do right away, the ideas that you have to win her back, aren’t going to work. In fact, they’re probably going to push her further away. So let’s start by talking about what you SHOULDN’T be doing when trying to win her back.  So lets talk about how to get your girlfriend back.

1. Texting her and calling her
2. Buying her flowers/gifts
3. Declaring your love
4. Pleading that you can change

Now, just look at that list. Does that look like the list of a man who is self-confident, fun, has his own things going on, and generally attractive to women? Of course it doesn’t. So why do you think that your ex-girlfriend would be interested in someone who does those kinds of things?

Instead, you need to take a little temporary time out from here. You need to:

1. Stop talking to her
2. Removing her from Facebook/Twitter/social media
3. Stop talking to her friends.

This is a time for her to experience what life is like without you, and to start missing you. At the same time, it will give you the chance to take a breather and re-evaluate your own life. Most importantly, it saves you from making the rash decision of buying her flowers or trying in order sure-to-lose ways to win her back.

During this time, you should also be working on yourself a bit more. You should:

1. Getting back in shape
2. Getting new clothes/haircut/anything
3. Get back in the dating scene

Basically, you want to give off the impression that you’re going to be living life happily and fine, with or without her. You don’t want to make it seem like you’re doing the above changes in your lifestyle in order to impress her. But instead, you’re doing it to impress YOU. You’re doing it to get your self-esteem and confidence back. And soon enough, you’ll have it back.

When she does end up contacting you again – and she will, they all do – then it’s time to take the plan of winning her over to the next level. Essentially, what you want to do, is instill on her three feelings when she sees you again. You want her to feel:

1. Jealous – that some other woman might be able to get you
2. Nostalgic – for the great times you had. At this point, she’ll forget about the awful weeks or months leading up to your eventual break-up and instead just focus on the good times.
3. Sexual Compatibility – you guys were sexually compatible at one point, or you would have never starting dating in the first place. You need to re-start that feeling.

That last one needs some extra instruction. Remember how it is when you first start dating someone and you’re teasing back and forth and flirting the whole time? That’s the kind of feeling that needs to be brought up again. Forget about the time you spent together, and the baggage that comes with all of that (including the baggage of having your heart broken by her). You need to forget about that and start fresh.

(For a primer on how to tease and flirt with girls, check out my video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zvrt98DutQA)

If you follow these instructions, you will get your ex back in no time. And then the question will be, if you really want her back in the first place.

Questions to Ask on a First Date

There is no deeper hole you can dig yourself in with a girl quite like having a terrible first date with her. In fact, if you have a bad first date, there’s pretty much no chance she’s going to agree to going on a second date with her. It’s that old saying: “You only have one chance to make a first impression.”

The key to a first date is knowing the best first date questions to ask her. And the key to knowing what first date questions to ask her, is to keep this in mind:

This is not a job interview!

Interviews at jobs just care about your past experience, where you went to school, what your GPA was, etc. In other words, facts. But when you’re on a first date with a girl, you shouldn’t be asking about these facts. Instead, focus on asking her about her emotions.

It’s a subtle, yet extremely important, distinction.

For example, instead of asking her where she went to school, ask her what her worst first date experience was. This kind of question is so much more interesting in that it will give you the chance to tell a terrible first date story of your own, which will allow the two of you to bond. You’re not going to be able to bond over what school she went to. (Unless you happen to have gone to the same school. But even then, the bonding is superficial.)

A few other examples of good first date questions:

- What was the most adventurous thing you’ve done?

- What is your favorite city in the world?

- What is your biggest weakness?

Keeping her talking about emotions will also make her much more receptive to flirting. And, in turn, make her much more receptive to a first date kiss. (My advice about trying to get a first date kiss: Do it!)

And flirting with her on the first date is so important that I made a video about it:

How to Flirt on a First Date

Make no mistake about it. The normal information about where she grew up, where she went to school, etc. will come out eventually. That’s just the nature of this kind of information. If you go out with her long enough, you’ll know all about her. This is the kind of things that will come out in a second or third date.

But if you don’t focus on getting to know more about her emotions, you’re never going to get that second date.

For more conversation skills building, check out Make Small Talk Sexy: Conversation Escalation

If She Looks Looks at You… Does She Like You?

Wanted to address something real quick.

And you might not like it.

But it must be said.

Cuz everyday I get emails that go something like this:

“There is this girl in my Math class {serving me coffee at Starbucks, that I pass in the hall, that I see around around campus, or that I work with…}

“And we make eye contact… And I’m pretty sure that she likes me.
How should I ask her out?”

I hate to break it to you…

But…

Eye contact does not equal attraction.

At best it equals interest.

And if you don’t turn that interest into attraction…

…You got NOTHING.

Guys think you can skip over the attraction phase… but unless you
look like Brad Pitt…

You can’t.

So what do you do?

Before you decide to go for hernumber, confess your feelings to
her, or ask her on a date…

Create a spark of ATTRACTION by FLIRTING with her…

How do you do that?

The best and easiest way to flirt with a girl is to tease her about
something…

…So that girl in class

Jokingly call her a “teacher’s pet” if she raises her hand too much…

…Or a brown noser when she gets the answer right….

That girl walking hurridley past you in the halls…

Tell her that she walks around like she’s on a top secret misson…

That girl serving you your coffee…

Next time you go to pay for your Latte as she reaches for you money… pull it away…

Then go to hand it to her again… when she reaches for it… pull it away again before giving it to her…

That’s creating a little tension…

A little flirtation.

When you “tease” a woman… she knows the deal.. she knows you’re flirting…

(…as long as you’re doin it right.)

And flirting is the first step toward creating attraction…

Once you created a spark of attraction,then you can go for the phone number,or see if she wants to hang out

But you CAN’T SKIP that part.

You have trouble doin this?

Don’t know what to tease a girl about?

Don’t worry.

I got something for you.

And its free.

It’s called the Teasing and Banter
cheat Sheet.

http://www.makesmalltalksexy.com/cheat

There’s lines it in that you can use in a dozen differnet situations.

And they work.

Grab it here.

http://www.makesmalltalksexy.com/cheat

And stop worrying ‘is she looking at me’ and just make it happen.

Bobby

P.S. If you want a complete education on sparking attraction in a girl, through the use of 5 tools that ALWAYS help create attraction…

Check out Amplify the Attraction

http://www.amplifytheattraction.com

Tips for Flirting with Girls

If you want to get girls then it is essential that you know how to flirt with girls.  Flirting is the currency of a seduction.

Check Out Amplify the Attraction

Creating the Lifestyle

Recently I did an interview with Tony Ryan, of Next Level Lifestyles.  Tony interviewed me about pickup, travel, and building my business.

It was a fun interview. I think you’ll find some useful tips in here about lifestyle design, having better conversations with women, and the story behind TSB Magazine.

Check out Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy

How to Keep a Girl Interested in You

It’s about time I address this in an article..

(This is an email you’re going to want to save for future use)

Every day I get dozens of emails from guys around the world wondering why some girl suddenly lost interest in them.
Once I get the details out of them it becomes crystal clear.

They gave their hand away way too soon.

Have you ever had a girl who was once hot for you get cold and distant within a couple weeks? If I had to guess why, I would say that you got too comfortable too quickly, and stopped PLAYING THE GAME.

I know I know.. we all hate ‘the game.’

But you have to play it.

Why?

Because women love going after a guy who is a challenge.

They love it.

They love not knowing what the deal is. Sure, they say they hate it. But they will keep chasing that feeling.

And when you don’t give them “the chase” they usually find another guy who isn’t so hard to figure out.

So how to do you stay a challenge?

For some of us its easy… If you’ve got a reputation around your social circle as a “player”, or are seen as having really high status by the girl, you don’t have the play ‘the game’ as hard.

THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE TO PLAY IT.

Trust me, I made that mistake. Sometimes I’ve even made the mistake of thinking I have to show a girl MORE interest because she thinks I’m a player and I need to prove I’m not.

Big Mistake.

The whole reason the girl liked you in the first place was because of your ‘player like’ qualities. Don’t hide them, and don’t give in to the temptation to ‘drop the games.’

Here are the three biggest signs you are about to FUCK UP.

1. You start thinking “I don’t want to play games with this chick. I like her. Why can’t I just let her know.”

2. You think “This girl is different, I don’t have to play games with her.”

3. You think “She definitely likes me. We’re past the point I need to play games.”

The minute any of those thoughts creep into your mind, re-read this email. And DO NOT convince yourself that she is different.

SHE IS NOT DIFFERENT.

She wants to chase you. She wants a challenge. She wants a guy she can not completely figure out.

How to be a challege

A lot guys think that when I say you can’t express interest this means you can’t let a girl know you are attracted to her.

WRONG.

You HAVE to let her know you are attracted to her. To do this you need to know how to talk to women.

Express your sexual intent and attraction all you want.

That is perfectly fine.

But, do no let her know you want more than that. (for at least the first 3 or 4 months)

SHE CAN NOT KNOW YOU WANT HER AS A GIRLFRIEND.

You have to be stone cold impossible to read.

Every time she leaves you she should be wondering if she will ever see you again. She should be wondering how much you like her. She should be wondering if you’re seeing other girls.

Let her wonder.

That is the art of the chase. The more time she sits around wondering what you’re doing… the more she begins to convince herself she is in love with you.

As David D once said “Give her the gift of missing you.”

The second part of keeping the attraction going is being able to continually flip her attraction switches during your time hanging out with her.

I created an entire course on “Flipping her Attraction Switches“