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Does She Like You? Or Is She Just Being Friendly?
I constantly get a ton of questions asking how to tell if a girl likes you.
A lot of dating advice gurus out there advise looking for indicators of interest (IOIs) that a girl is attracted to you. While indicator’s of interest can be helpful in judging a woman’s interest level… I prefer to actively “test” her attraction levels instead of passively waiting for signs she likes me.
These two videos detail my two favorite “attraction tests”
The first video below, explains an active “attraction test” I like to use when I’ve developed some rapport with a woman and I want to tell if she likes me… or is at least comfortable around me.
“The Hi-Five Test”
This next video details a verbal “attraction test” I use to get a woman’s reaction to something I say to judge her interest level. This is a great way to tell if a girl likes you.
“My Wife and Kids”
So, these are my two favorite ways on how to tell if a girl if a girl likes you. If you have any other “tests” you use to tell know if a girl like you or is attracted to you… leave a comment below.
And if you haven’t checked out Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy… check it out now.
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I just got this question from a reader:
Hey Bobby,
My biggest frustration is running out of things to say during a conversartion with a girl, specially when I feel that she wants to talk to me. I have an opportunity for a good kiss close and suddenly I don’t have it any more….that really sucks. It seems that once the conversation hits that awkward silence she is no longer interested in me. Do you have any tips.
Thanks,
Jose
Ah… my biggest fear.
For me, I was more afraid of the awkwardness of having nothing left to say- than I ever was of rejection. In fact, if a woman openly rejected me- I could take it. What I couldn’t take was standing there not knowing if I should keep talking to her, or give up. I hated thinking the woman was just being polite and really wished I would leave.
But here is thing…
The easiest way to completely eliminate awkwardness is to acknowledge it in a humorous way.
By calling out the “elephant in the room” and saying what you’re both thinking… it demonstrates that you are socially intelligent. And social intelligence is EXTREMELY attractive to a woman.
It’s sort of like if you’ve ever had a girl turn her cheek when you went for the kiss. The worse thing to do is pretend it didn’t happen. Because the both of you know you tried to kiss her- so you’re not fooling anyone by acting “cool” about it.
Just say (in a mocking ‘announcer type’ voice) “And she slips him the cheek”. This sort of humorous response will put you both back at ease.
Women fear awkwardness even more than men do… so by showing a woman you have enough social intelligence not to let things get awkward… you become a lot more attractive in her eyes.
You might also want to listen to Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy. In this program we specifically tackle how to keep a conversation going.. so that you never have to face these moments.
We also walk you through the escalation from small talk to sexual talk. This way, next time your close to the point where you’re about to kiss a girl.. you’ll know exactly what your next move is. And exactly how to counter any of her objections, so that you can get the kiss.
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So, I’ve been getting a lot of questions- and some killer stories from all of you who are implementing this stuff- so I just wanted to answer another questions here on the blog.
I decided to choose another question on escalation because that seems to be what a lot of you are still struggling with. And it is super important in order to get girls attracted to you on a sexual level.
Hi Bobby,
Thanks for your cool program, I think I improved a lot in my conversation with girls recently after buying your program. It’s definitely working for me.
I am still working on my voice and a confident Body language, like having throw back shoulders, etc. After I took your program now I think I can talk to girls and build rapport successfully. But I think I have a stick point on physical escalation.
I still have trouble with not knowing when to escalate physically, but I did successfully put sex in every conversation with newly met girls and get them to talk about it without awkwardness. I can have long chat with girls now. But I think because I don’t know when to physical escalate, I kinda end up in a friend zone after chatting with them for hours (last time I even chatted with girls until 3 AM right before pub close)
So I guess I need to know how to increase attraction and when to escalate physically. Any suggestion from you would be cool.
Thanks,
E.
Glad to hear your enjoying the program..
So let me see if I understand…
You’re able to carry a conversation with a girl… and get a pretty good rapport with her… but you either don’t spot the opportunity to escalate or don’t know how to… so after talking for awhile you wind up too much of a friendly level….
I know that feeling well…. My story from “The Small Talk Tactics” report was very similar to what you’re describing….
I get the sense that now that you’ve gotten good at building rapport…. you’re too scared to break it.
You enjoy having these conversations with girls and you don’t want to risk losing the connection… not only that, but you’re not really sure how to do it?
So let me see if I can give you some help…
Here is the thing… you are the man. You have COMPLETE and TOTAL responsibility to be the one who escalates and gets physical…
If you continue to wait for her to give you signs- you’ll more than likely keep winding up in the friend zone ( I say this out of experience)
Now, I just finished a really good training lab lesson on the topic of escalation that will be out in a few weeks… but I want to sum up some quick points that you want to make sure you do…
1. You need to make a statement of intent. Its not good enough to just get her talking about sex. At some point you have to make it clear to her that you’re attracted to her in a sexual way.
This could be by saying something as simple as “That perfume you’re wearing is really driving me wild… what is it?”
2. You need to begin touching her and continue to escalate the touch. Read this article:
http://www.tsbmag.com/2006/10/17/a-step-by-step-ladder-of-escalation/
3. You need to break rapport. Meaning if you begin talking about one topic too long- break the rapport by flirting, teasing her, getting direct…
You want to bring her back to the moment…
4. Use things like cold reads to get direct with her.
Say things like “When I first met you I was expecting you do be a little dull… but you’ve got a really cool personality… I like that. But the question is… can you cook?”
5. Use an attraction test like the “hi five test” to see how comfortable she is with you...
http://www.tsbmag.com/2009/10/22/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you-%E2%80%A6-5-signs-to-look-for/
6. Remember, as you’ll hear Sixty Years of Challenge say in our upcoming training class on escalation:
“Escalation is Attractive”
This means the mere fact you are escalating with her- is going to make her more attracted to you…
7. Finally, don’t be scared to lose a girl because you go for it and she turns you down… Its ALWAYS better to get denied… than to never try. She will think of you much more as a man if you try… if you don’t, she’ll think you’re either scared… or gay.
Hope that helps… and keep an eye out for the upcoming lesson on Escalation in a few weeks….
Bobby
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